“Your cousin Maria got straight A’s, how come you got just four?” “Anik got the scholarship, when would you?” “Your uncle Amir’s son got selected in Dhaka University, why couldn’t you?” “Who would give you a job with this CGPA?” “How long are you planning to eat all these free meals at your dad’s hotel?” “You will never be successful in your life with this attitude and those horrible results” “You can’t sing, nor can you play any instrument. You are not even good in sports or education! Just go and be a rickshaw-puller. You are not getting anyway…”
Sounds familiar? I bet they do. We have all been compared to our neighbor’s children, our cousins and siblings too. It has specially been a Bangali tradition so far to belittle the close people which make us question our abilities, our strengths, our capabilities and ourselves. No matter how much we decline and act not to care sometimes, all these voices are actually drilled into our subconscious mind and we start doubting ourselves. We lose hope and dreams, start trying to live up to the standard set by our parents, our surrounding and society. By the time we are free to live our life, we are old and are already filled with heartbreaks, disappointments, low self esteem because we were never meant to be what others wanted us to be in the first place!
There are also times when clouds of disappointment are filled above our sky, we are broken with heartbreaks when people betray us or doesn’t care enough, separations due to distance, failed relationships or even death of closed ones. In every step we take, negativity comes closer to us than hurricane. These as a results breaks us down and we lose the belief in ourselves.
However, it is time to realize your worth before someone else tells you otherwise. Everybody goes through hardships and there are moments when they question their being and their significance in this world. But you must always look into the mirror and tell yourself that you are precious and worthy of every good things that the world can ever offer.
In the moments of such qualms, remember to take care of yourself and remember these reasons of how much valuable you are even when no one believes in you:
1. You are born a winner
Do you know that your birth began as a race and only one was successful to finish the line? You are indeed a result of a winner among thousands of sperms that raced to get into the egg and voila! Never forget that winning is in your gene so whenever life knocks you down, remember to get up and work harder to reach your goal until success is in your foot.
As Paulo Coelho put “People are capable, at any time in their lives, of doing what they dream of”.
You do not deserve less
Life may seem unfair and you may decide to settle for less than you ought to. Please don’t because you deserve all the goodness you want. You have to realize that the bar needs to be set up higher than people told you or more than you feel just because you are let down. Never let other set the standard for you. Never let others put you down. Always let them know that you will not allow to be controlled or let anyone decide what you are worth of even when nothing seems to go your way. Put a smile on your face and show how confident you are about yourself. Your positive attitude will break their negative efforts and eventually success is bound to come to you.
You are breathing and alive
Be in the moment. Just close your eyes in focus on your breathing for 2 minutes. Just feel the air going through your nose and running into your lungs. You certainly would feel relaxed no matter how typical situation you are in. Try to think of something wonderful and let yourself emerge into it. Feel the blessing of being alive and open your eyes to feel blessed to see how lucky you are to see this beautiful world. There are millions of people who wished their dear ones were alive with them and cherish life. There are people who wants to be in your shoes, wants to live the life you are living. So as long as you are alive, you can achieve anything.
You are unique, one of a kind
Albert Einstein said, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” So carry on polishing your own super power rather than wanting to do everything all at once.
You play one of the vital roles in the history of our world
“I wish I was not born”.
There was a man who said this before jumping off a bridge but an angel saved him and granted his wish. Then the man saw what would have happened if he never existed. People he had once saved and were successful died because he didn’t exist to save them. Many others were miserable and failed in life because his existence wasn’t there to lift them up. Later he realized how his little contributions in the world actually impacted on a large scale to the world. If you have watched the movie,
“It’s a wonderful Life”
you would understand what I just said.
“No matter what he does, every person on earth plays a central role in the history of the world. And normally he doesn’t know it” quoted by Paulo Coelho.
You are not defined by your standards made by society like body image, relationship status or financial condition.
Stop watching T.V. and idolizing the models and actors! Half of them suffer from illness due to lack of eating and social lifestyle. They only set trends to gain benefits from product lines and cosmetics they manufacture. They are not to be set as standards and nor should you compare yourself with someone they say looks better or lives better than you. Everyone is different and unique so our uniqueness should be respected and loved. Just strive to be the better version of yourself each day and one day people will realize what they have missed to notice.
You are strong
You have made it this far. In case you are struggling or going through hardships in life, remember what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Hold on a bit longer and remember that if you want to see a rainbow, you have to learn to see the rain first.
No matter what skin color you have, what age group you fall into or currently residing in which point in the world map, the points mentioned above are self explanatory. If you ever feel down and wonder your existence in this universe, just take out a pen and write at least ten things you are grateful for. It may take time but trust me when you show your gratitude towards the universe, she showers you with abundance and that my friend is what we call the law of attraction.
Remember to be thankful and open your eyes to this wonderful world where you are created into and the world you create. We are so much concerned with the negativity that people, society or surrounding puts us into that we surpass to see the abundance of positive energy and the beautiful opportunities that are opened in our way. Remember to look into your eyes in the mirror and see how enigmatic and mesmerizing and promising soul you have. Never stop believing in yourself because you are capable of everything you dreamt to be. No matter how impossible it seems, keep in mind that if the man without legs can reach the top peak of the Mt. Everest, who are you to doubt yourself?
P.S: You may want to read some books and check out some videos when your self esteem is low:
The Power of Now: by Eckhart Tolle
The Alchemist: by Paulo Coelho